Post by MartinSPost by NemoPost by MartinSPost by Bill TaylorPost by MartinSAre "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra crossing and a camel?
The Dromedary has one hump,
The Bactrian's a two-humped chump,
And you can write on hard enamel -
There never was a three-humped camel!
(with apologies to Ogden Neddy)
Now the camel has a lot of fun,
He gets to do it in the desert sun.
He always gets two humps for one,
As he revels in the throes of fornication.
From "Cats on the Rooftops", a traditional bawdy ballad.
Give it some hairy storer then!
Now, the sexual life of the camel
Is not as dull as one thinks
For in moments of animal passion,
He makes crude attempts at the Sphinx.
Now, the Sphinx's posterior passage
Is clogged with the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.
Hundreds more at http://www.horntip.com/
Heard it before but still LOL.
Owabout . .
The boy stood on the burning deck,
The flames had caught the sails.
He jumped about - his feet on fire,
On red-hot scalding nails!
The boy stood on the burning deck,
His balls caught in a zither!
He pulled it off - it flew right back
And sliced up half his liver!
The boy stood on the burning deck.
He tried to reach the Poop.
Butt, alas so frightened, he
Required a pooper scoop!
The boy stood on the burning deck -
The flames licked higher and higher.
He then commenced a sprightly dance,
His underpants on fire.
The boy stood on the freezing deck,
With ice around his testes.
He needn't have been quite so cold -
He'd forgot his pants and vesties!
The boy stood on the burning deck,
Whence all had gone to bed.
Except the Captain's wife, rude lass,
A-giving him some head!
The boy stood by the smoking pan,
His nostrils all a quiver.
He took a sniff - a lovely whiff -
Some onions and some liver!
The boy stood by river bank,
His sphincter all a quiver.
A Tookas niff - an ugly whiff
Polluted all the river!
The boy stood on the burning deck;
He tried to reach the mast.
Butt alas he was too late,
Coz Bummer grabbed his arse!
(Bummer Mayhew - a metalwork teacher at Acland Buggery School in the
days when they covered up for pædophiles instead of gettin em arrested!!)
The boy stood by the smoking pan,
His nostrils all a quiver.
He took a sniff - a lovely whiff -
Some onions and some liver!
The boy stood by river bank,
His sphincter all a quiver.
A Tookas niff - a pongy whiff
Polluted all the river!